Over 150 million posts on TikTok are tagged “trad wife,” and there are several popular, well-known TikTok influencers who fall under this trad wife category, including Ballarina Farm and Nara Smith. For those of you who aren’t chronically online, a trad (traditional) wife is defined on Urban Dictionary as “A woman who believes in the sanctity of marriage as God intended it. Usually but not always religious. Believes that a woman’s duty is to provide a loving and nurturing home environment for her husband, children, and herself…” then a bunch of nonsense about how she’s happy submitting to her husband and does not believe in divorce…convenient, but okay. So, are trad wives a threat to feminism? Does the trend indicate an overall rise in traditional values, or is it just a cute aesthetic that these hardworking homemakers are choosing to lean into?
Traditional values usually refer to family unity, strong religious faith, obedience to authority, and upholding social norms. These values are often romanticized as simpler or more stable (think…MAGA) when, in reality, they’re just mostly unnecessary leftovers from more medieval times. Yet, as the modern world grapples with rapid societal changes, such movements can seem appealing to some, offering a sense of clarity and purpose amidst chaos. The rise of the trad wife phenomenon might suggest a backlash against the perceived chaos of contemporary life. As these influencers curate a lifestyle centered around domesticity and traditional femininity, it’s essential to examine the implications this has on our collective understanding of gender roles in the 21st century. Are we witnessing a resurgence of conservative ideals, or a fleeting trend amplified by social media? This remains a compelling question to explore as society navigates its varying beliefs about womanhood, empowerment, and the meaning of fulfillment in today’s world.
I won’t lie, escaping this capitalistic nightmare sounds like a fantasy world. So I can understand the appeal to women. Who wouldn’t want to stay home and spend all day doing their makeup and baking bread?! The issue with tradwifery is that it displays aesthetic freedom, not real tangible freedom. While the idea of embracing a softer, more domestic role may seem liberating at first glance, it often overlooks the systemic issues women face regarding autonomy and choice. The allure of seemingly effortless homemaking and traditional femininity may draw many into a narrative that glosses over the complexities of female empowerment and the realities of domestic labor. Furthermore, it raises an important discussion about the value placed on this type of lifestyle versus careers and personal development in a society that often measures success through achievement outside the home. As more women engage with this trend, it prompts deeper questions about our shared definitions of success and the sacrifices one might make in the pursuit of traditional values. Are women redefining their roles, or are they merely stepping into pre-existing molds that may confine them in new (or old) ways? Exploring these dimensions is vital to understanding how the trad wife movement fits into the broader dialogue on feminism and the diverse paths women choose today.
We should all, men and women, strive to define our own success in life. We should not let our happiness and fulfillment be defined by archaic rules and values. That is what is so inspiring about women like Marie Curie, Madam C.J. Walker, and Arabella Mansfield. They didn’t let society define them; they did what would bring them happiness and fulfillment in life. The only way to prevent regression is access to education. Women who know better, do better, and we should all learn from the plight of our ancestors. We have to fight these aesthetically pleasing “hand your rights to some guy” subcultures with history. Talk about the women throughout history loudly and proudly. Suffragists chained themselves to the White House fence, were force-fed because they were on hunger strikes, and were served worm-infested food while in jail for peacefully protesting…that is not something that should be forgotten. Women fought diligently, unwaveringly for our rights to have THE MOST BASIC freedoms…I think any aspiring tradwife should ask themselves, “Why?”
If you are interested in continuing to fight for women’s rights, here are some things you can do. Firstly, as a proud card-carrying member, I have to tell you to donate to Planned Parenthood. I am a fairly broke ass bitch, but I still try to donate yearly because women deserve access to reproductive healthcare and the freedom to make their own decisions about their lives and their health. When I was a teenager, my sister took me to Planned Parenthood to get birth control, and it was possibly one of the most important things anyone’s ever done for me. My family lineage is a long line of kids having kids, and my sister helped break that cycle. Another route you can take is exactly what I’m doing now: talk about it! In today’s age, it is so easy to spread your message. Start a blog, a zine, a newsletter, a TikTok, a YouTube channel based on women’s issues. Another important thing you can do is vote! Be an educated voter, look up who is running and their platform, make a cheat sheet, and take it in the voting booth with you…My husband actually just brought his phone and looked up everyone while he had the ballot, but there are even websites like http://vote411.com where you can make a voting plan. Volunteer or donate at your local women’s shelter, join a feminist book club (online or in real life), listen to feminist podcasts like “The Guilty Feminist” or “Stuff Mom Never Told You.” Lastly, take the time to gently argue with anyone you are close to about their bad ideas. This might be the greatest thing you can do. People who know and love you will listen to you; they care about your perspective…so don’t be shy about it! It is also the most difficult of my suggestions, in my opinion; it hurts when the people you love vote your rights away, but it’s the best way to change minds and hearts. Don’t forget to meditate, take a bath, or write in your mindfulness journal every so often because it’s not selfish to take time for your own inner peace while fighting for progress…Your mental health is important so that you can continue the fight!
Women can never stop resisting…for some fucked up reason we have been handed this burden by the universe. We are not only fighting for ourselves but for our daughters, nieces, and even the men in our lives. “Women’s rights ARE human rights” as Hillary Rodham Clinton once said from her podium in 1995 Beijing. That speech was ranked as the 35th most significant American political speech ever given by American Rhetoric…pretty badass. Reflect on your own personal values; do you live your life in accordance with those values? Are there any ways in your everyday life that you could support feminism, even if it is in small ways? Think of what the women before us had to sacrifice to get us our freedoms…We could do the same for the next generation.
Here is a list of resources for you to start with:
Vote411 – seriously, use this!!!
https://www.vote411.org/
The Guilty Feminist Podcast
https://guiltyfeminist.com/
Unladylike Podcast
https://www.unladylike.co/episodes
Stuff Mom Never Told You Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-mom-never-told-you/id304531053
She Should Run – Know any women who you think would be great in local government? Tell them! Or if you would like to run but aren’t sure where to start, She Should Run is a great place to start looking. Women are 51% of the population…let’s make Congress look like it.
https://www.sheshouldrun.org/
Women’s March Foundation’s Feminist Book Club – This is a small place to start, but you can find endless book clubs and book recommendations online!
https://www.womensmarchfoundation.org/feministbookclub
Feminist Book Club Bookshop – Great book recommendations
https://bookshop.org/shop/feministbookclub
Planned Parenthood – Donate yesterday, today, and tomorrow…don’t let them take this valuable resource
Donate to Planned Parenthood
I could list a million more…but it is midnight and I have to work in the morning (you know, that capitalist nightmare I was talking about earlier). Please let me know if you have any questions, thoughts, or suggestions!
Girlypop 
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